


The wonder of you

by Nickygp



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, M/M, this is literally just angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 19:12:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3821638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nickygp/pseuds/Nickygp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“It’s alright, darling. I’m not going anywhere.”  Harry said, trying to comfort the young man.</em>
</p><p>  <em>Eggsy let out a hollow laugh as he moved away, fighting for air. He looked out the window in hopes that the dark street would offer some comfort. “Liar,” he whispered brokenly.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	The wonder of you

“Will you stop moving your leg? It will be alright, Eggsy. You’ll do fine.” Harry murmured, breaking the quiet stillness. He placed his hand on top of Eggsy’s knee, stilling his movement.

“I know, “ Eggsy whispered,  covering the man’s hand with his own and squeezing gently. “Just nervous is all.”

“There’s nothing to be nervous about. You saved the world after all.” The older man gave him a kind smile and a wink, leaning in to kiss the young man’s forehead.

Eggsy worried his lower lip with his teeth, looking down the hall. “But I didn’t shoot the dog, Harry. What if I-”

“Eggsy?” Called Merlin softly, coming out of the Kingsman conference room with his electronic clipboard in hand. “We are ready for you.”

Eggsy swallowed hard, breathing in to collect himself before standing up in one swift motion. He fixed his shirt and cufflinks, knowing deep inside that at this point he was just stalling.

“Eggsy-” Harry said knowingly, shaking his head as he tried to contain a smile.

“I’m going, I’m going,” murmured Eggsy as he rolled his eyes. He gave Harry one last look, fighting the urge to kiss him. “Wish me luck.”

“You don’t need it, but if you insist.” Harry smiled as Eggsy’s eyes narrowed. Suddenly, his countenance turned serious and he reached out to touch Eggsy’s fingertips. “Good luck, love.”

Eggsy smiled at the man, blinking rapidly as tears threatened to overwhelm him. He turned around and walked down the hallway, closing the door behind him. He looked over at where Roxy and Merlin sat, both smiling at him. Merlin stood up and walked towards Eggsy, offering the young man his hand.

“Are you ready?” The man guided Eggsy to his seat.

“As ready as I’ll ever be, mate,” Eggsy murmured under his breath, reaching out to take a black pen. He looked at the contract, swallowing hard before he signed it quickly, pushing it away as if he had been burned. “Is that it?”

Merlin gave him a small smile, his eyes a mix of happiness and pity. He clasped the young man’s shoulder, giving him a comforting squeeze “Welcome to the round table, Galahad.”

\------------------

Eggsy stood up and walked towards where he kept a small, black record player which he had taken from Harry’s house a few months prior. The item was old; it had passed from Harold’s - Harry’s father - hands to Harry’s, before finally ending in Eggsy’s.  He crouched, taking out a square box where he kept all of Harry’s records.

He smiled sadly, looking back at where Harry sat. “Remember that day, before the final test, when I first found yer record player?” The young man waited for Harry to open his eyes to continue. “Yeh told me yeh never played ‘em, that you only kept ‘em as a collection.”

Harry hummed, bringing his drink to his lips. “I always found that there was a certain charm to record players and records that I couldn’t quite shake, but I wasn’t much of a music person.”

Eggsy held back a grin. “Bullshit.”

Harry’s eyebrows shot up, his eyes snapping back to look at Eggsy. “I beg your pardon?”

“You heard me,” the young man murmured, his tone teasing.  “I am calling your bluff, Mr. Nothin’ can touch me. I bet fifty pounds that yeh listened to this shit daily.” He motioned at the record he held carefully in his hands.

Harry chuckled, throwing his head back as a stream of rich laughter escaped his lips. “You are going to lose, Eggsy. “ The man’s eyes twinkled with delight, the dim lights highlighting his features. “Call Merlin and let him confirm my word.”

Eggsy shook his head, slowly bringing the record down to rest on the turntable.  He placed the arm in place, smiling as the song begins playing.

 _When no one else can understand me_ _  
When everything I do is wrong…_

“Elvis, really?” Eggsy stood up, looking at Harry with knowing eyes.

 _…And you´re always there to lend a hand_ _  
In everything I do_

Harry shrugged, sitting up to place his drink on the coffee table. “He was a fantastic singer.”

Eggsy huffed out a breath. “And they say I’m a romantic.”

_That's the Wonder, the wonder of you_

Harry smiled and stood up, moving closer to the young man. He delicately offered Eggsy his hand, silently asking for a dance. Eggsy looked at him, his eyes shining yet again with unshed tears.

 _And when you smile the world is brighter_ _  
You touch my hand and I am a king_

He took the man’s hand, burying his head in Harry’s chest. He tried to remember the smell of Harry’s posh cologne, panicking when the smell didn’t come to him immediately.

“It’s alright,” Harry whispered, pulling Eggsy flush against him. He began rocking them from side to side, moving to the rhythm of the slow song. “Don’t think about it.”

 _Your kiss to me is worth a fortune_ _  
Your love for me is everything_

Eggsy felt bile rise in his throat, but said nothing, only tugging Harry desperately closer. He felt as a tear rolled down his face and he shuddered, his ironclad control beginning to crack.

 _I guess, I'll never know the reason why_ _  
You love me as you do_

“It’s alright, darling. I’m not going anywhere.”  Harry said, trying to comfort the young man.

Eggsy let out a hollow laugh as he moved away, fighting for air. He looked out the window in hopes that the dark street would offer some comfort. “Liar,” he whispered brokenly.

_…That's the wonder, the wonder of you_

\----------------

Eggsy stood on top of a tall building, his eyes closed as he enjoyed the soft breeze.

“You shouldn’t close your eyes like that when you are on the field,” Harry grunted beside him.

Eggsy smiled softly, opening his eyes to find the man standing next to him, wearing his signature suit. “Hello there. I was starting to wonder when yeh would come back.”

The man huffed a breath, moving closer to the edge of the rooftop, where the young man stood, to look down. Eggsy copied Harry’s eye movement, smirking as a long, black limousine pulled up across the street.

“Wait until the mark is near the door of the house to shoot,” Harry instructed, his eyes glued to the back of the limousine.

“I know Harry, this is not my first time,” Eggsy murmured, his words more amused than angry.

Harry hummed, looking over at the blond as he knelt on the floor, propping his slick sniper gun on the edge of the rooftop.  “Is that the suit I ordered for you?”

The young man closed one of his eyes, focusing all of his attention on the small telescope. “Yeh know it is.”

A young woman came out of the car and began walking to the door, looking extremely nervous.

“It looks fantastic on you,” Harry commented casually, his lips twitching as his words brought a lovely blush to the young man’s cheeks.

Eggsy hit the trigger, watching silently as the young woman fell to the ground, blood seeping out of the wound immediately. He swallowed hard as he stood up and moved away from the rooftop, dismantling his gun quickly.

He placed the different pieces of the weapon inside a large case, trying his very best not to think of a certain church that stood hundreds of miles away, where a similar scene had occurred less than a year ago.

He picked up the case and began running, jumping high to land on the next rooftop. He huffed out a breath as his heart ricocheted in his chest.

He allowed himself to look back once and only once, regretting his decision immediately as his eyes scanned the empty rooftop where he had been standing mere seconds ago.

\----------------

“Are you alright?” Roxy murmured as she looked at him carefully, almost as if afraid to hear the answer.

Eggsy didn’t answer, instead focusing his gaze on the beautiful man standing at the other side of the room. Harry looked back at Eggsy, his signature half smile adorning his lips.

It had been a while since this had happened.

Harry cocked his head to the side. “You know, it is common courtesy to answer a question, especially when it comes from someone who is dear to you,” Harry tutted, that maddening half smile never leaving his face.

“Eggsy?” Roxy said as she reached out to shake his arm.

Eggsy diverted his gaze from Harry to look at the young woman. “Sorry, I got distracted.               What did yeh say?” He asked softly, having enough decency to look sheepish.

The girl chewed on her lower lip, her eyes full of worry. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, Rox, I’m fine. I’m still kickin’ aren’t I?” He tried to joke, but the humor didn’t reach his eyes.

The young woman took a deep breath, before murmuring “Merlin is worried. He says you are being too reckless on the field.”

“See, I am not the only one that thinks that.” Harry motioned to Roxy, a victorious gleam crossing through his eyes.

“Oh, shut up, yeh are one to talk,” Eggsy snapped, looking at Harry with a small grin plastered on his face, hoping that it would mask his ever growing pain. His eyes, however, gave him away; his eyes looked tortured.

“Eggsy?” Roxy said, her eyes growing wider with alarm as she looked at the wall he had been staring at a few seconds ago.

“Sorry,” the young man murmured as he blushed furiously. He suddenly stood up, adjusting his sweatpants. “C’mon Rox, I want to practice.”

The young woman stared as Eggsy walked towards the punching back. She gave him a look as he studiously avoided her gaze, not wanting to confront the reality she brought fourth with her mere presenc.

She remained seated for a while, debating with herself whether or not it was wise to press the issue - whatever the issue was - any further.

She shook her head, and stood up; She would have to talk to Merlin about this. 

\-----------------------

 Eggsy kept his eyes closed as the rain washed over the car, the sound of thunder drowning out the music.

“Are we going to stay here all day? You have to report to HQ in three hours,” Harry noted, looking at the young man who looked like he was going to be sick.

Eggsy snapped his eyes open, immediately turning to glare at Harry. “Thank you for stating the obvious, love.”

Harry’s brows shot up in surprise at Eggsy’s vicious tone; never had he heard him this angry.

The young man looked down, blushing as a guilty look settled on his face. “I’m sorry, it’s just-”

Harry’s eyes turned impossibly sad, and he squeezed the young man’s hand, tilting Eggsy’s head up with his other hand. “It’s alright. I understand.” He wiped away the tears from Eggsy’s cheeks. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Eggsy shook his head, opening the car door. “No, it’s time.”

The young man closed the door behind him, immediately feeling the cold rain hit his back. He began walking, wondering for a moment what would happen if he just kept walking until his feet bled and then some more.

He closed his eyes as he came to a stop, not daring to look at the imposing object standing in front of him for fear it would break him. He cleared his throat, shoving back the vicious need to get out of there.

“You’re going to get sick, Eggsy.” Harry murmured from somewhere behind him.

Eggsy smiled brokenly and fell to his knees, unable to keep himself upright any longet. He buried his hands on the cold grass, thankful for the rain that mixed with his tears and helped him pretend he wasn’t breaking from the inside out. “I haven’t been here in a year, and yet… I can’t do it. I can’t. I just can’t-” He sobbed, shaking like a leaf.

Harry moved closer, looking at Eggsy with worried eyes. He squeezed the young man’s arm and Eggsy sobbed harder, wanting nothing more than to rip his heart out to stop feeling - even if just for a second - and leave.

“I miss you. I miss you so much.” He wiped his tears away, finally opening his eyes to face the black tombstone.

“I’m right here, my love. I’m right here,” Harry whispered as he knelt next to Eggsy.

Eggsy sobbed harder, hiding his face in his hands. “Stop sayin' that. I can’t take it anymore!” Eggsy screamed at himself, hoping rather foolishly that his mind would listen.

“No, Eggsy, listen to me. I am right _here_ ” Harry whispered quietly, touching Eggsy’s heart. “I will always be here,” he murmured as he tapped Eggsy’s heart. “And here,” the man said even softer, tapping Eggsy’s forehead.

Eggsy froze, all the color draining from his face; the man was right. It didn’t matter how dead Harry truly was, he would always be alive in Eggsy’s mind, in his heart, in his blood, in his skin. Everything he did, every breath he took, every tear he shed, was for Harry.

 “I hate yeh.” He said to the man kneeling next to him, knowing full well he was talking to himself, knowing that this was just another trick his mind was playing on him as it had been for the past two years when he had first seen the illusion. He turned to look at the grave “I fucking hate yeh for leavin’ me.”

“I’m sorry,” the man next to him whispered, pulling away to give Eggsy some space.

Eggsy crawled closer to the grave, touching the cold stone as he gasped for air. He covered his mouth, drowning out the tortured sounds that escaped him. He rested his head against the tombstone, counting the number of breaths he took to help him calm down.

Eggsy looked up what felt like hours later, drenched to the bone. He looked back, noticing that the illusion was once again gone. He breathed out, not knowing whether to feel relieved or heartbroken. He kissed the tombstone as one kisses a lover and murmured “Happy Birthday, Harry.”

He stood up and dusted himself off, knowing that Merlin would probably grow more concerned than he already was the minute he saw Eggsy like this. To be honest, he wasn't sure how much he cared at this point. 

He sighed, looking around once again for his made up companion. He supposed he would have to wait, like always, for his brain to show some mercy towards him before he saw Harry again - no not Harry, he would never see the real Harry again.

He began walking slowly back to his car, alone.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what came over me when I wrote this, but I just had to do it.  
> Don't hate me <3


End file.
